On the rules of life for graduates and young people alike.
RULE 1: Life is not fair; get used to it.
RULE 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
RULE 3: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
RULE 4: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
RULE 5: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
RULE 6: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
RULE 7: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
RULE 8: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
RULE 9: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.