When a lot of your friends are getting married, yet you and your partner have not even talked about settling down, it could mount a lot of pressure on you. To complicate matters, friends and family are already asking, “When is it your turn?” This can be really annoying and can make you want to pressure your partner into marrying you soon. You might say, “We are both in love, marriage should be the next logical step”, but before you jump into a hasty decision, here are some reasons why you shouldn’t give in to the pressure to tie the knot just yet:
A marriage is more than a wedding
It is easy to feel anxious about getting married when all your friends are tying the knot and your chance to walk down the aisle is only as a bridesmaid. However, that’s not an actual reason to get married. Sure, you want a day all to yourself to wear a big white dress and be the centre of attention, but you have to understand that after that one day, the rest of your life with this other person begins. Once you’re done picking out flatware and first dance songs, you’re going to live with this person for good. If you can’t see past the party, you’re not ready for the commitment.
It is expensive
Weddings are expensive, and divorces are worse. Rushing into marriage means you have ess time to save for your wedding and also the marriage. You should consider the expenses and plan before you get married.
It screams desperation
A lot of people rush into marriage because they are scared of being alone. If you are thinking of tying the knot because of that, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. You are most likely going to end up with someone who isn’t good for you and treats you poorly cause you haven’t spent enough time to get to know them behind closed doors without anyone else around. Don’t let your desperation blind you to obvious red flags, because what you settle for is ultimately what you’ll get.
If you rush into a marriage with someone, you run the risk of missing out on someone with whom you’d be a much better match. If your partner really is your soulmate, they should be willing to wait for another a year to spend the rest of your lives together. If not, cut your losses and wait for someone with patience.
Relationships take time to mature
You need time to nurture your relationship to maturity. Relationships can’t be rushed to maturity. You need to work out all the kinks and be sure that it has all the potential to just get better and better as time goes on. Give yourselves the opportunity to bond in new ways over new things without being married. Relationships and marriage are just like everything else in life – if you force them, if you rush them, it’s not going to go well.
Consider your priorities in life before deciding on marriage.
Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and compromises, and subjecting yourself to all these negotiations may make you wonder a few years down the life if you have missed any opportunities and not built for yourself a life you deserved and wanted.
Educate yourself, travel as much as you can, know people, make friends, develop a career, and then say “I do”. Life’s like a cycle. Complete each stage before moving onto the next. Don’t rush because you won’t be able to go back, to finish the unfinished business.
You may push your partner away
If you’re pressuring your partner to get married before they are ready, they may just bolt. Not respecting your partner’s wishes or boundaries means you’re not mature enough to be in a relationship. Being aggressive and rushing about spending the rest of your lives together isn’t going to sweeten the pot for them. Likewise, if they’re pressuring you, the same applies: Either slow down or run for the hills.
Marriage is a decision that will last for you and your partner’s entire life.
Take all the time you need to really think about it and ask yourselves if you are both physically and emotionally ready to take the next step in your relationship